My love, my sweet, my sunshine in the dark, I love you, I miss you, forever....

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 07:17:23 GMT

Title: It's not you, it's me
Pairing: Kyumin, broken Kyuwook
Rating:PG-13
Genre: Slight angst, slight crack, romance and drama ;D
Summary~
Kyuhyun broke it off with Sungmin but regrets it later on when Sungmin is involved in an accident that might nearly have taken his life away

"It's not you, it's me..."

That was all it took for Sungmin to realize it was over.

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A few months later…

Sungmin usually wasn’t the type who went out for drinking. But the pain had gotten overbearing. He just needed to drown his troubles. Suicide wasn’t an option; it wasn’t worth it to die, perhaps someday, some far off distant day he’ll finally manage to get over it.....he hoped.

As he entered the bar the smell of alcohol and drenched sweat hit him.  He sat himself down at the counter. He wasn’t so sure what to get, as he hadn’t been here over a period of time. All of a sudden, shouts erupted a meter away from him.

He looked over to see what the commotion was about. Two drunken men circled menacingly around each other as animals would do. Their callused fist balled up and veins showing outstandingly in their tense movements, their eyes were somehow vacant yet fire seemed to radiate from them.

Shouts erupted once again as one broke the tension by stepping forward to grab a wooden chair. He looked up and forcefully hurled it at the other. The other’s reflexes were too fast though, as he dodged the incoming object. Unfortunately, bottles of alcohol were displayed behind a glass pane behind the man.

When he ducked, the glass objects suffered the damage and impact. The chair collided with the glass and catastrophe broke out as broken shards of glass flew around. Slicing the wooden floor around the two men who both suffered minor cuts and injuries from them but they ignored it. Streams of people were running towards the exit while some senseless people gathered around the two men to watch just as the nobles and royalties once did in the arena during gladiator battles in folklores.

Sungmin decided to intervene, as he couldn’t handle the chaos and brutality of the fight. He just couldn’t let these men harm or hurt innocent bystanders. Some might even result in fatal injuries.

He stepped in to halt the fight whilst accidentally brushing against the shoulder of one of the men. The man roared with anger. As he took Sungmin by the collar and shook him brutally as a savage from ancient times once did. He flung him to the floor as easily as a stuffed toy.

It only took a few seconds, a fraction of a single minute. Of course as someone once said, every second counts. Sungmin hadn’t the time to let the senses or the instinctive feeling of fear take over. His head finally slammed against the floor luckily missing some of the broken glass by mere millimeters; unluckily, managing to bump his head against the side of a table.

Darkness spreads throughout his vision. His eyesight growing dimmer and blurry, waves of colors all churned together. Till finally it fades, firstly focusing on a bright orange light on the ceiling till that also disappears to be replaced by a nothingness of black. And then his consciousness follows.

Sungmin didn’t want any bystanders to get fatally injured. His good intentions weren’t wasted. No one other than the two men involved in the fight got harmed, and they only suffered minor injuries.

Well that is, other than Sungmin.

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Ryeowook sat at his table staring longingly at the clock. 3 more minutes till his lover Kyuhyun will be back. He sighs with content happiness. Ok maybe not exactly content. But overflowing with overjoyed ecstasy.  All giggles and ever so bubbly like a schoolgirl with her first crush.

He jumped as the blast of Endless Moment erupted from his cell phone. He rushed to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Are you Ryeowook?”

“Yes. Can I help you?”

The caller started to talk at a fast pace.

A few minutes later, the sound of a phone dropping echoed throughout the phone. Right after that, the clinking of keys, a lock being opened and the creaking of the opening door sounded. “Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun said, confused because usually the smaller man would always be jumping up to open the doors to hug him even before he got the apartment keys out.

He entered the living room, eyes on the lookout for Ryeowook. “Ryeowook?” he asked again.  He caught a glimpse of a body, he ran forward to embrace him when instead Ryeowook’s knees buckled and he fell straight into Kyuhyun’s arms. “Wookie? What’s wrong?” Kyuhyun questioned, concern in every stroke of the sentence.

Ryeowook’s face had gone a pale sheet of white. His eyes looked up weakly at Kyuhyun and gasped, “It’s Sungmin… He’s in the hospital… i-in a-a coma.”

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The long stretch of the cream hallway of the hospital awaited Kyuhyun, beckoning, daring him to enter it. Every single footstep he used to inch forward echoed like thunder in his ears. Fear gripping his guts as his heart pounded wildly, never missing a beat.

He had agreed to go without Ryeowook with him after Ryeowook had begged him to go because Ryeowook couldn’t afford to miss another day of work as his boss had been really tense and stressed these days. Just yesterday he had shouted at one of his employees for serving him the wrong coffee, leaving the boss stampeding like an earthquake throughout the rest of the day with hell breaking loose at every path he took. And of course Ryeowook couldn’t bear to be scolded by anyone, preferring to please everyone instead.

Upon reaching the doorway, Kyuhyun reached out to turn the doorknob. He touched it and nearly revered back, the doorknob was cold…icy cold sending a feeling of dread and chills creeping down his spine. He turned it quickly as it silently swung open to reveal machinery hooked onto Sungmin’s frail form on a pure white bed, his white-bandaged head resting on a soft white pillow and wrapped in a snow-white blanket.

Everything was just too…white. Including Sungmin’s pale emaciated face. Seeing Sungmin again triggered so many innermost feelings deep down. He broke up because he had felt insecure…Sungmin had been hanging around some Heechul guy a lot, seeming to not have time for Kyuhyun anymore. He thought him breaking up with Sungmin would be much easier and less painful. He missed Sungmin so much.

Then he had met Ryeowook. Ryeowook was more of a cozy comforting light bulb, while Sungmin was the sun…his sun. He had feelings for Ryeowook but honestly he still loved Sungmin.

Sungmin made him feel warm all over. Every single touch, accidental or on purpose seemed to explode with sparks and fireworks, yet it was shockingly comforting, pleasant and desirable. Every time he glanced or smiled at him, everything and everyone else faded and it was just Sungmin, just him and Sungmin. Every second he leaned against him, time seemed to halt yet go by in such a hurry as half an hour just passed like minutes. The first time they both exchanged I love you(s), it was as if he was floating, the feel of flying. Soaring with happiness at great heights and the moon seemed to shine brighter as a shooting star sped across the sky. Cascading light on both of them.

He loved the way that Sungmin made him feel like he was the only one. The way he treated him special yet it seemed he was treating him the same way as others. Sungmin was the only one that had ever got him boiling with jealousy over the slightest glance he got from guy or girl alike. The way he was filled with desire as he watched Sungmin. As in Sungmin wasn’t doing anything. Neither was Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun was just watching, scrutinizing every feature and contour of his face.

He was felt with guilt and lamentable remorse as he watched Sungmin affectionately, running his fingers through Sungmin’s silky brown hair. He was forced to see Sungmin every once in a while after the dreadful dumping session.

For after the break up, Kyuhyun had fallen into a midst of depression. Seeking comfort from a petty crush that he had on Ryeowook, Sungmin’s best friend.  Ryeowook hadn’t done it out of spite or to hurt anyone. It was just that Ryeowook had liked Kyuhyun for so long and had been hurting everyday when he saw the Kyumin couple. He just couldn’t keep himself from accepting to go out with Kyuhyun.

It was okay for Ryeowook to see Sungmin. Sungmin was still his best friend. But Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun thought he was nothing more than an ex in Sungmin’s life. A mistake in Sungmin’s history. Not even worth a friend.

He couldn’t help but rekindle his feelings for Sungmin as he stared at Sungmin and felt a rush a loving affection for the boy in front of him. A stream of worry and concern started to brim his mind.

What if he doesn’t wake up?

I can’t just leave things the way I did…

Sungmin!

Wake up, just please…

In desperate attempts to wake Sungmin, he told loving detailed memories from the past, happy, comical and romance-filled memories. But most importantly, it was their past…

Sungmin? It’s Kyuhyun. Remember the story your mum told us about the cat that entered your aunt’s house? The way your aunt was scared out of her wits to even go within five meters of it. And the cat stubbornly stayed in her house for the whole two hours refusing to budge.

Remember she took your mom’s dog. The dog started to bark at it. But the cat started to hiss at it and inch forward then the dog got scared and ran away.  Remember the hour we spent laughing till we couldn’t breathe over the story?

We started to plan what we would do if the cat came back in? We would get a metal cover and drop it over the cat. Then we would put a cardboard underneath and scoop the cat up. Afterwards we would get a large metal spoon and start clanging and banging on the metal cover like a drum and dare it to come back?

Then we would turn the cat around and around inside until it goes overly dizzy and faints, so we’ll quickly dress it up in really girly doll frock with lacy socks and all on it. Then we would go out and leave it at the sidewalk on the grassy patch and runaway with out best innocent angelic looks.

When we told our friends our plan, we doubled over and started rolling and laughing about on the ground with loud guffaws while they stared at us as if we were hysterical. No one could understand the joke except us. It was our personal joke.

Sungmin…if you’re listening to me? Please come back…we…I-I need you.

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This continued on for a few days.

Ryeowook still busy with work only coming back in the evenings went visiting hours were over. Yet he noticed that Kyuhyun seemed to instead bring his work over to the hospital and work there for hours. Kyuhyun’s usual smirk was just a cover as make-up is. Ryeowook could sense something else secretly hiding in Kyuhyun’s visage of joyfulness.

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A few days later, Ryeowook decided to surprise Kyuhyun by going to the hospital in the early evening. He had been working extra shifts to make up for the time he took to take the evening off to visit Sungmin.

He walked down the corridors to hover at Sungmin’s door. He silently opened the door, stepping in cautiously, not making a single sound or squeak, ready to pounce on Kyuhyun to surprise him. Kyuhyun who was usually had quite sharp and clear vision still hadn’t noticed Ryeowook yet.

Ryeowook was puzzled. The way that Kyuhyun was looking at Sungmin, the way he entwined his fingers between Sungmin’s tenderly and so gently too.

Then Kyuhyun started to speak, but not to Ryeowook, to Sungmin, Kyuhyun’s voice cracking with sadness and a betrayal of tears threatening to fall.

Sungmin, remember the day when we confessed our love for each other? Forever, we promised. But forever ended too fast. I failed you Sungmin. I promised nothing would ever happen. Sungmin nothing in my feelings has changed. Sungmin come back….Please just come back…I love you…come back…please

Then, a telltale tear of sadness really started to flow right after he said the last syllable. He leaned over Sungmin’s body and softly planted his lips gently on Sungmin’s.

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Ryeowook was struck with silence. Staring at what had just happen and finally realization struck. He was the obstacle that kept these two apart. He was just a hindrance in their love story. He started to internally pummel himself critically for being so selfish.

Kyuhyun’s IS Sungmin’s.

Suddenly a cough erupted from Sungmin’s mouth, his eyelids opening slowly and hesitantly, as if afraid of the glowing from the light bulbs. “K-kyuh-hyun-n?” Sungmin asked, his voice rough and croaky from lack of usage.

“Sungmin…I’m so sorry Sungmin…I love you and always have and will” Kyuhyun murmured.

A choked sob sounded from behind them. They stared back to see Ryeowook there. Ryeowook who started babbling wishing the sky would just fall on him to save him from his pain. “I’m sorry I know I shouldn’t have accepted Kyuhyun Sungmin forgive me forgive me forgive me please please both of you I’m so sorry that I pained your love life I’m just really sorry and just so so sooo sorr…”

“Ryeowook, RYEOWOOK! It’s ok….you should really breathe between sentences and punctuate them at the very least,” Sungmin said cutting him off, smiling and winking teasingly at his friend.

His friend nodded and suddenly lurched out of the door and from the hospital altogether.

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They turned back to each other. Suddenly the momentarily happiness of Sungmin’s ceased. His eyes glazing over with the cold hardness of ice as he pulled his hand away forcefully from Kyuhyun’s grasps. Kyuhyun’s too fades. His gaze hurt. Sungmin contemplated for apologizing and relenting, he nearly did, but at the last second deterred his decision.

“Sungmin…” Kyuhyun breathed slowly.

“What?” Sungmin pointed out harshly.

“I’m sorry…” Kyuhyun murmured gently, retaking Sungmin’s hand firmly into his hold.

“Wasn’t hurting me enough? What more do you want from me?” Sungmin demanded a cold tear sliding down his cheek.

“I never meant to hurt you. I want you Sungmin, just you…” Kyuhyun said slowly.

“Ever thought that earlier? And the break up line you fed me was it’s not you, it’s me. What the hell do you mean by that. Yea it was you. But if it wasn’t me then why did you break up with me?!” Sungmin said, his temper threatening to break from his control.

“I was blinded with jealousy Sungmin. You were always out seeing this Heechul guy…” Kyuhyun said, defensively.

“Heechul? HEECHUL?! I WAS PLANNING A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR YOU WITH HIM! YOU IDIOT!” Sungmin shouted.

“I-I-I am so soo damn sorry Sungmin, I’m such an idiot,” Kyuhyun said, horrified at the outcome of his mistake.

“DAMN RIGHT YOU ARE,” Sungmin said, but a hint of a smile played at his lips when Kyuhyun at long last admitted he was an idiot. So Kyuhyun decided to play that to his advantage.

“ Sungmin…Forgive me...If you want me to get down on my knees, I will,” Kyuhyun said, as he dramatically slid down on his knees, smirking and with dramatic hand gestures that he had learned from Siwon he continued, “Oh mighty heavenly, divine goddess of my eyes, please with your endless generosity in your heart. I know you will fine the will to forgive me. Please oh mighty goddess, forgive my stupidity. Sympathize with this poor fool before you that needs you to survive throughout his harsh days.”

Sungmin sighs though a grin on his lips as he contains his laughter. “So you wait until I’m at my most vulnerable state to spring this trap on me?”

“I’ll take that as a I’m forgiven hidden meaning behind that sentence,” Kyuhyun smirked triumphantly

“I hate you,” Sungmin said adding in his the most heated glare he could manage to summon at that moment but of course only managing to look cute with his puffed out rosy cheeks.

“I love you too,” Kyuhyun said cheekily as he wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s slim waist.

“AND that is GOD to you buster,” Sungmin added smiling cutely.

“Only in your eyes baby, in mine? Not so much. Just a goddess *cough* GIRL,” Kyuhyun said teasingly, earning another glare from Sungmin.

“We haven’t even entered five minutes….” Sungmin muttered but was cut off by Kyuhyun attacking him with a long deep loving kiss. As they came up for air a minute later, Sungmin muttered as he wrapped his own arms around Kyuhyun’s neck, “Infuriating tease…”

“But you love me anyway,” Kyuhyun summarized, smiling victoriously as he leaned down again to kiss him.

His drug addiction…

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Note~
WELL that's the end of it XD. I actually wrote this bout a month ago. I was just too lazy to post it up. Exams are coming soon......sigh. I'm working on a new fic which HOPEFULLY will be posted up soon ;D.
Thanks for reading btw.
Comments are loved XP

Kyumin ~ That's life

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 17:30:42 GMT

Title: That's life
Pairing: Kyumin
Rating: G? PG-13?
Genre: Slight angst, slight drama, Romance
Disclaimer: ~~Super Junior is mine ...~~...Not
Summary: Kyuhyun's hid his voice ever since his break up with his ex as he deems himself into depression whilst Sungmin tries to pull him out and show him that that's just life.

Sitting on a wooden fence on a warm moonlit summer night. The air still seems warm since the previous hours from basking in the heat. Kyuhyun sighs staring at the full moon aglow whilst reminiscing bittersweet memories of days dwelled at this very spot from the past.

Unbeknownst to him hiding amongst the holly, peeping through the shadowed greenery sat another man who like him came to remember, unlike him, deciding to instead be enthralled with the undeniable depths of beauty of Kyuhyun. Memorizing each feature with concentrated scrutiny.

Still oblivious to the fact of being watched, he removes the shield of protection to show all the sorrow beneath. He lips moved to form lyrics of an impromptu melody with his low melodious voice. Sungmin, the man who still lay hidden gasped in surprise.

For no one had heard Kyuhyun sing in many months to nearly a year since his run-in with his previous lover who wanted nothing but to criticize Kyuhyun of his singing while truth be told she sang so sweet that she made cats screeching seem like an angel’s hymn. Since the truth dawned upon her that a guy, an inferior of her had a talent that far surpasses her own, she had proceeded to discourage him with any means possible. Including forbidding him from ever singing in public ever again.

Of course, Kyuhyun gentle and blinded with undying love for the girl willingly agreed to her every bidding or request till at last, she had everything she could ever want and more decided that Kyuhyun without his voice was now in her mind comparing Kyuhyun with a gorilla. But she had forgotten that Kyuhyun even had a singing voice for her mind was so intellectually declined that she made an ant look like Albert Einstein. So she had forgotten why she had decided to grace him with her infatuation and ended it just like that without a word.

Since then, Kyuhyun had elapsed into an almost total silence, saying only the occasional greeting or word. Making silent Kibum seem to be a chatterbox.

Back to the present, Kyuhyun casts his seductive, alluring voice to scatter among the fields. Not knowing to what in fact he had caused to his surroundings, particularly to Sungmin who seem in a paralyzed state, his gaze unfocused and dreamy, then the song ended. Sungmin then only seemed able to break free from the entrancing spell.

A sudden tear slid out of Kyuhyun’s eye as so many emotions wraps against his skin. He produces a single rose in full bloom. Its petals a dark crimson looks dull in the moonlight. It means mourning. Kyuhyun’s lips forms a grim line as he leaves the stalk of rose in a corner where the wind would fail in its quest to blow the rose away from its rightful place.

Another tear slides down his left cheek and splashes down on the rose. Forming a split second of a cascade of water droplets. Now forming beads on the delicate scarlet petals of the rose. He wipes his eye with the corner of his left sleeve destroying all evidence and walks away.

Leaving behind his only sanctuary where he can be truly express his innermost feelings as the shield in his eyes once again rises up to block out and hides his agony from the world.

Sungmin gasps in surprise. He remembers faintly Kyuhyun mentioned that a dark red rose meant mourning or grief. He wrecks his brain to find a possible answer to why Kyuhyun could be mourning. Could it be his ex-girlfriend? Sungmin’s heart seethes with pain at the mere thought of that.

“Kyuhyun…….” Sungmin’s wonders, in his own world of ecstasy.

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The following night, or more precisely the early hours of morning when it’s still dark out, oblivious that his secret had been intruded upon. That is until he reaches the section where he left the crimson rose previously the day before. Next to the now sprinkled with dewdrops scarlet rose lay another. A white rose, petals soft as silk and free of morning dew as a person’s breath was free of morning breath if one did not sleep for a period of time.

The white rose, color so pure, cleansed with innocence as the first day of snow after the turmoil of events of autumn, was placed not too long ago. A white rose meaning innocence, purity, secrecy, friendship, truth, virtue, charm and happy love. Nearly the opposite of the symbolization of his maroon rose. Kyuhyun sits there in confusion, eyes drawn to the roses.

He picks it up carefully between two slender fingers to discover that the person who left the white rose entwined the two stalks of both roses together. Upon close scrutiny, he also discovers that the white rose was also free of prickly thorns as if not wanting other to distance themselves with it whereas his had thorns all over as if an attempt to barricade people away.

He finds a piece of paper, slightly damp and slightly dirty. It wrote with bold cursive scrawls saying-

That’s life…

Somewhere inside, the writing invokes and triggers a small part of his memory. The writing seems recognizable. But he decides to ponder over it later on as not to ruin this perfect moment.

A small smile curves his lips. Today, he sings a happier, livelier tune. Unknowingly causing another’s mouth to break into a full-out grin. The person above, a guy, gazes below at his secret crush from above the branches of a tree. He sighs and mumbles Kyuhyun softly and gently.

As if heavens will debates against this statement, an ear splitting crack fill’s the brightening sky. The branch that the guy is on creaks under his weight as his eyes widen with fear and panic. His mouth opens to release the shriek that’s welling up in his throat, threatening to erupt any second.

It at last cracks and he finds himself falling, tumbling towards the grassy land awaiting the coming fall. Kyuhyun finds himself rushing forward to catch the falling angel.

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(Sungmin)

He finds himself enveloped in warmth, wrapped and supported in muscular arms. He’s still bracing himself for the predicted fall, still shaking with anxiety and fear.

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“Sungmin?” Kyuhyun asks. Confused as he continues to hold the shivering boy.

Sungmin’s eyes slowly flutter open. He gasps. He stares up at the mysterious nearly coal black eyes of his savior Kyuhyun.

“ K-K-Kyuhyun?” Sungmin stutters.

Seconds tick by. Sungmin finally returns to his senses and tries to scramble out of Kyuhyun’s hold. However, Kyuhyun tightens his grip unconsciously, as if unwilling to loosen his embrace on Sungmin’s fragile body.

“C-can you let go of me?” Sungmin mumbles, eyes downcast towards the ground as his cheeks color a slight pink.

Kyuhyun shrugs. “Were you spying on me?” Kyuhyun asks, his deep voice low and echoing slightly as anger starts to form.

Sungmin continues to stare at the ground. But he raises his head slightly and lets it drop again. “ I-I’m s-sorry” Sungmin mumbles.

“Do not mention it again. Ever,” Kyuhyun snarls. Somehow it’s unbearable for him to even do that to Sungmin though he couldn't understand just why. Feeling extremely guilty as he sees Sungmin cringing as his anger starts to wan. He helps Sungmin stand upright, reluctantly releasing his hold.

“Are you completely deranged?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ON THE FREAKING BRANCH FOR SUNGMIN! YOU COULD’VE BEEN KILLED!” Kyuhyun shouts.

Sungmin remains silent.

“YOU’RE SUCH AN IDIOT TO EVEN ATTEMPT SOMETHING LIKE TH…..” Kyuhyun’s voice trails of as the remaining words are carried away by the wind.

Sungmin’s eyes flashed with hurt as tears brim and glisten whilst gathering at his eyelids. The transparent tears highlight his eyes, making his sadness more prominent than ever.

“Sungmin, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Kyuhyun says, startled by Sungmin’s reaction as he moves forward. But all he finds is an empty space. An empty space where Sungmin once stood.
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Sungmin rushes into the apartment of which he shares with Kyuhyun and Ryeowook. The slamming of his bedroom’s door echoes throughout the hallway as he proceeds to lock the door. He makes his way to his bed where finally he crumples down on his bedspreads as silent sobs erupt from his chest, his breathing labored slightly. Appreciating the forthcoming silence. Or so he thought.

Insistent knocking started pounding on the door, disturbing the silence. “Sungmin? Sungmin? I know you’re in there. Sungmin? Look, I’m sorry. Sungmin?” Kyuhyun says.

Eventually, Kyuhyun grew tired of continuous profound apologies and knocking though the guilt continuously nags his brain as he promises himself he’d try again when Sungmin decides to leave his room.

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Sungmin is sick of crying his eyes out. He has had it. He’ll move. He’ll find a new apartment. For heaven sakes! He’ll start a new life!

As surreptitiously as he can manage, he opens the door. He glances sideways along the corridors to ensure that Kyuhyun isn’t there. He slowly and carefully starts to sneak away. Perhaps he could stay at Kibum’s house or or…Leeteuk’s.

As Sungmin’s distracted with his myriad of thoughts, he fails to notice Kyuhyun amongst the shadows lurking as he decides to launch into his plan.

As quick as a flash, Kyuhyun pushes Sungmin back into his room. He closes the door and switches their position, backing Sungmin up against the wooden door, his muscular arms on either side of Sungmin to block any attempts of escape. His right hand inches towards the doorknob and locks it again to discourage or dash any of Sungmin’s remaining hope of leaving.

“Let go of me,” Sungmin said, tone slightly brusque but otherwise a level of monotonous soundings.

“No,” Kyuhyun replies, confidence flowing of his every word.

“Let go of me or I will sue you,” Sungmin says steadily, not wanting to back down.

“So sue me,” Kyuhyun answers in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“ You b….” Sungmin’s sentence is left hanging in midair as Kyuhyun leans forward and gently presses his lips against Sungmin’s.

“You know swearing isn’t very good,” Kyuhyun murmurs, basking in delight of Sungmin’s face starting to flush a brilliant shade of a ripe strawberry out enjoying the warmth emitting from the sun.

Sungmin is at last rendered speechless. Kyuhyun again presses down onto Sungmin’s soft berry pink lips so gently as if Sungmin is a priceless art extravaganza that is extremely fragile. Of course, that is what he really thought of Sungmin.

Kyuhyun starts to sing softly, a soothing, calming lullaby of sweet merriment to Sungmin. “What about your ex?” Sungmin questions, fearing the coming answer.

But he had no reason to be afraid for Kyuhyun then voices out the seven words that made Sungmin absolutely ecstatic with endless joy. “ She can go jump in a lake,” Kyuhyun whispers.

Sungmin then threw his arms around Kyuhyun, now on impulse, pressing his own lips against Kyuhyun’s.

Lovingly, he whispers into Kyuhyun’s ear, “I love you…”

“I love you too,” Kyuhyun murmurs back as they settle into their own wonderland of passion.

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OMG! I think the ending is failed...
Well In a state like insomnia I failed to put sufficient amount of Kyumin into it. So this is to make up for it.
Well thanks for taking the time to read this. Any thoughts?

In a State like Insomnia

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 10:35:51 GMT

Tittle: In a State like Insomnia
Chapter: 4
Pairings: Kihae, mention of Kyumin
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kibum has always, always loved Donghae. But Donghae loves Eunhyuk. Broken between happiness for his friend and jealousy towards Eunhyuk. But is Eunhyuk really THE ONE for Donghae or really just a playmate? Will Kibum dare to venture into something more intimate and intense than his friendship with Donghae? Will his strength be enough to brace him for rejection?
Disclaimer: ~~Super Junior is mine~~ I wish

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3|

"No...No...No....It just can't be...."Donghae stuttered and continued “I have to go….” and he ran as fast as his own two legs could carry him. Away from the ocean, away from the sandy shores, away from the beach, but most importantly, away from Kibum.

Kibum is left standing there. His eyes threatened to well up with hurtful tears. Staring beyond the vast are of golden brown sand, in the direction that Donghae ran….away from him. He ran home. Home seemed such a foreign word, no more home sweet home. He looked through tired and heavily bagged eyes.

Kibum is left standing there. His eyes threatened to well up with hurtful tears. Staring beyond the vast are of golden brown sand, in the direction that Donghae ran….away from him. He ran home. Home seemed such a foreign word, no more home sweet home. He looked through tired and heavily bagged eyes.

I'm tired of trying to put up a losing fight. I can't just fake a grin and bear it anymore. It’s time to start afresh again. Sick of fighting. Tired of losing. Mad at never getting what I want. Angry at everything in the world. Sad that I’m not good enough. Mostly, I’m SICK of ALWAYS being the one to pick up the fallen pieces of others while inside I’m breaking as fragile as glass. I can’t stand it no more!

Kibum slipped the shell into one of his pocket. Gave one wistful look at the beach where so many bittersweet memories were made and where his heart was officially, definitely and confirmed broken forever more.

He strolled away deciphering the moments of his life and how to put it all behind him as the past.

**********************************************************************************************************************

“Leeteuk?” Kibum murmured softly.

“Yes?” Leeteuk said gently, taking in Kibum’s forlorn expression knowing something terrible had happened.

“I’m sorry…” Kibum said.

“What’s there to be sorry about?” Leeteuk said, voice still a soothing melody.

“I’m leaving…”

“When will you be back?”

"That's the point Leeteuk. Never...."

“Never? You can’t be serious.”

“I am! Please understand. I can’t bear to stay here anymore.”

“Kibum, you can’t do this to us. To Super Junior.”

“I’m sorry Leeteuk it hurts too much…” Kibum said hoarsely, his usually unemotional face at long last, broke down in tears.

“I hate to say it. But I understand. But please. Reconsider this action,” Leeteuk whispered comfortingly.

“I have. And my mind’s already made up,” Kibum whispered and left, never glancing back, at long last running away from his troubles.

***********************************************************************************************************

Donghae locks himself in his room knowing that Kibum wouldn’t dare venture in for when he reached the place after a long mourning in the park, Kibum’s belongings were all moved out to the living room. It’s just as well; they both needed their own personal space for the time being.

He never expected what was about to come in a few hours or so. But left alone in his own muddled thoughts he felt so lonely and neglected. For when he had hurt most it has always been Kibum who came and help mend him. But now, the savior himself founded this profound problem and now nobody was there to pick up the pieces.

But he had found out something brand new. He was depleted, broken, incomplete, a fraction of what he used to be. Only one thing could fix him again. But he daren’t take the chance for Eunhyuk had already ripped him to multiple ragged shreds.

Kibum, why admit now of all times? I’m sorry…I’m just not ready to start anew…

***********************************************************************************************

Kibum’s POV

I’ve already wanted to go to America for quite some time. But the only one that held him back was Donghae. When he was there it was never the right time to leave but now that Donghae seems to want only to ignore me and run from my presence it’s time to let go and start again and to pursue the career I’ve always wanted and it’s all my own fault, for admitting to him while he was still in pieces.

That’s just what I am, completely and utterly selfish.

Donghae.......I love you. I believe I always will. But what I want between us, I believe would never bring you happiness. So I’ve tried to forget it but it never worked. I’m too weak-willed. I’m sorry that I was never enough to sustain Eunhyuk’s position in your heart. Never will be able to withhold your heart in my hands. I yearn for your warmth but if this relationship is not what you want, I’ll leave and halt all the pain I have caused you.

I truly am sorry.

Farewell Donghae.

***********************************************************************************************
Leeteuk gathers 11 people into the living room to have a serious conference about Kibum’s leaving.

His solemn face crept in the hearts of them all wondering what news was so grave that it caused Leeteuk ‘The Angel’ to look so grim. “ Kibum’s leaving,” Leeteuk said softly.

The room turned so silent, so intense, the atmosphere could be sliced through with one thrust of the knife. Then the chaos began. The silent atmosphere interrupted with streams of talking, cussing, arguing etc.etc.

“How could he?”

“Why now?”

“13 no more…”

“Finally disbanding…”

“Our end is beginning…”

“Where is that traitor?”

Continuing on and on till suddenly there came a shrill voice shouting STOP!

Everyone turned, their gaze or glares now resting upon the frail body of Sungmin.

Sungmin suddenly seemed flustered by all the intensity of the awkward stares balanced on him. He cowered behind Kyuhyun scared to death of them all. Kyuhyun wrapped his one arm around Sungmin’s shoulder and pulled him closer towards his own body.

“ YAH! JUST SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY ALREADY!!! ” Heechul yelled.

Sungmin’s eyes widened till Kyuhyun pushed him behind him to cover him from the raft of the temperamental Heechul. Kyuhyun hastened to explain how Kibum had confided in he and Sungmin of how he loved Donghae since he met him. How he only stayed cause he wanted to watch over Donghae like a guardian angel till Donghae didn’t want him anymore.

Everyone’s accusing eyes drifted over to Donghae. Which was a wrong move since Donghae was still in a fragile condition. Therefore, resulting in Donghae bursting into tears, rushing out and slamming the door.

Everyone seemed awestruck by what just happened. They never really knew that Donghae was as fragile as that. As response to that, everyone turned this time to glare at Eunhyuk who just seemed dazed, in a jumble of thoughts.

***********************************************************************************************

Donghae is all alone again, crying in his room.

Kibum has left him undefended.

Kibum has left Super Junior.

Kibum has been the first to disband.

Kibum has left him for America.

Kibum is gone...

The realization hit Donghae as a lightning hits a tree, it jolts a memory deep in Donghae’s consciousness.

Kibum has always been his first in almost everything.

His first friend in high school.

His first best friend in high school.

His first choice in any groups or pairings.

His first….His first crush…

Donghae finally at long last notices his deepening desire for Kim Kibum. Wanting to feel his very warmth glowing against his own pale skin. Wanting to feel his soft caress as he leans over to hug him awkwardly. But he chooses not to realize that he had indeed fallen for his Kim Kibum in that way.

But what’s the use of wanting when he can’t have it.

It’s just too late.

Or maybe it’s not….

****************************************************************************************

Kibum sighs while still in deep thought. So much for being the gallant knight to save the ‘damsel’ in distress. Instead he had turned into a measly goblin, unworthy of the brilliant ‘damsel’s’ mere presence and causing him even more distress.

“ Kibum sir, it’s time to go,” Kibum’s escort muttered, leading him towards the grassy fields.

He had to go through the long way and board the airplane by the stairs as to not be hogged by any fan girls along the way.

He turned and stared at what seemed to be his last glance of Korea before leaving. He pulled the shell he had got from the beach out from his pocket and stared at it sadly. Kibum gave a deep sigh and turned. Cluttering up the metal stairs swiftly till he heard a distant cry calling his name.

“KIBUM!!!!!”

It was Donghae….

He stared.

“Kibum I know you’re hurt and angry but please just listen to me for a minute!” Donghae pleaded, still panting from his run.

Kibum sighed and trailed down the steps again. As he reached the base he stared at Donghae expectantly, waiting for his explanation.

“Kibum, please don’t leave. I need you… don’t leave me, don’t do this, please,” Donghae begged.

“ If you want me to stay, do you need me enough to say you love me?” Kibum asked, his smile, a mere façade covering his torment and turmoil of emotions whirling in his mind.

The silence prolongs. Kibum shrugged and said softly, “ Thought so.”

Kibum turns to board the plane again.

“ Wait Kibum……I lo…..I love you,” Donghae murmured softly staring into Kibum’s eyes.

Kibum eyes showered with hurt. “I bet this is just some sort of trick to pull me back to Super Junior, it won’t work. DAMN IT DONGHAE! STOP TOYING WITH MY GOD DAMN FEELINGS!!!” Kibum shouted.

Donghae stares remotely. Taken aback by Kibum’s forceful words. “It’s not a trick, it’s not a trick! Believe me Kibum.”

“Prove it…”

“I will!” Donghae saunters forwards, he doesn’t hesitate. He leans over so close that Kibum can feel Donghae’s breathe wash over the area of his mouth.

Donghae closes in on the area that separates the distance between his & Kibum’s sweet luscious lips till finally they meet.

“I love you,” Kibum whispers, his voice ragged from the previous make-out session.

“Love you too,” Donghae murmurs in Kibum’s ear, nibbling it softly.

************************************************************************************************

Kibum retrieves his shell and lifts it to his ear. Hearing the peaceful harmonic sound of the whistling ocean waves. A whiff of sea air catches on his nose. He smiles brightly, gently and lovingly.

A real smile.

One that has not been seen for many years. Till now….

************************************************************************************************

Kibum and Donghae fall asleep lovingly in each other’s arms, embracing the glory of being together.

And there they dream sweet dreams…No longer in a state like insomnia…

************************************************************************************************

Note:
Ah finally finished!!!!!!! Sorry it took so long to update. And sorry for the small amount of Kyumin in it.
Well hope you enjoyed reading it. Sorry for any grammar mistakes found.
Well thanks for reading then. Bye!!! =)

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:29:29 GMT

Tittle: In a State like Insomnia
Chapter: 3
Pairings: Kihae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kibum has always, always loved Donghae. But Donghae loves Eunhyuk. Broken between happiness for his friend and jealousy towards Eunhyuk. But is Eunhyuk really THE ONE for Donghae or really just a playmate? Will Kibum dare to venture into something more intimate and intense than his friendship with Donghae? Will his strength be enough to brace him for rejection?
Disclaimer: ~~Super Junior is mine~~ I wish

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Donghae's eyes brimmed with overflowing tears, wetting his eyelashes, blurring his eyesight, the room's colors all mashed together forming one huge colorful blob. He lifted his poem to his lips, wetting it slightly during the process. He held it to his heart listening to the constant drumming. He sighed sadly and folded it in half. Pressing it between the pages of a book he lent from Kibum " Kissed by an Angel".

He looks up at the night sky. Gazing at the beautiful moon and the sparkling stars that fills the whole stretch of the horizon. He still couldn’t accept the fact that Eunhyuk had cheated on him. His thoughts fills his mind in an endless effortless whirl.

Why did he do that to me? How could he do that to me? Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Maybe I should try again. The only reason for living is Kibum and I’m sure he won’t miss me much even when I’m gone…Why did he have to come in when death was already knocking on the door?! I tried to reach for it but someone pulled me back.

These thoughts continues streaming till he reaches the most unpleasant part of all.

I should try to take my life again. This time leave no note of goodbyes. Well not the instant kind at least. I’m sure Kibum will find the poem after I’m gone. I guess that’s goodbye enough. Well I guess Super Junior is 13 no more. My final farewell.

He reaches for a new crisp sheet of paper, a black gel pen, and quickly wrote with quick scrawls on it. He smiles a pained smile, his eyes gone black with despair and waits for the opportunity to finally finish of his life.

**********************************************************************

Eunhyuk seemed a fragile mannequin at the moment. His mind constantly flooded with bittersweet memories. As hard as it is to believe, he loved Donghae at one point of the five years they were together. And now he remembers how much he loves Donghae, but he realized it too late for now his fair Donghae could hardly bear to greet his eyes. His usual joyful eyes streaming with tears, blackened with shadows and downcast.

*Flashback* (Eunhyuk's POV)

“Why do you keep running away from me?” I questioned, even without a mirror I knew my face was contorted to that of hurt. It pained me that our distance was growing larger each passing minute.

“B….Because….I-I..L-love you….,” Donghae whispered softly, eyes strained on wall behind Eunhyuk. A bright crimson rushed up his cheeks.

I smiled. Ecstatic at what I heard. I wrapped my arm around his slim waist as his eyes widened in surprised.

“Good! Because I love you too,” I answered and lifted his chin, planting a kiss on his red lips, therefore sealing the relationship.

* End of Flashback*

I loved him… But what happened to change that? What changed it? Why did I seem to stop loving him at one point? Oh yea…..Because of him….

*Flashback* (Eunhyuk’s POV)

It has been just a year ago. For four years, my relationship with Donghae was thought to be unbreakable and rock solid. Then I met him…. Taewoo (just a random name I made), with his scorching gold eyes and glossy brown hair. It was love at first sight, for me anyway.

But yet even though I got close to Taewoo he only loved another. I guess it was sort of like a quadruple way of love? (Read on to find out)

“ Taewoo?” I murmured softly, mesmerized by his golden eyes.

“Hmmm?”

“Have you….ever loved anyone other than the usual….I mean like not….maybe like guys?”

“Only ever one,” he whispered, his gaze seemed to soften the merest fraction.

“Who?” I asked, heart racing like mad.

“Kim….Kim Kibum,” he muttered, his expression seemed to falter.

“Oh…”

Just a simple oh. My mind couldn’t seem to form any other words. My heart seemed to drop, breaking into many million pieces where most of it won’t be retrieved.

Then I thought back to how Kibum’s gaze held the exact same interest to Donghae as I hold to Taewoo. I can’t get back at Kibum directly without hurting Taewoo so I figured that I could get back at Kibum indirectly by flaunting the fact that he has Donghae in front of Kibum.

Revenge for stealing his beloved Taewoo, Donghae was nothing compared to him. Kim Kibum SHALL feel this pain and torment!

*End of Flashback*

I’m sorry Donghae! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!

Eunhyuk’s tears began to fall, streaming forcefully. His knees buckle and he seemed to be all alone in the bitter cold darkness, allowing depression to curl around his entire existence and the tiny trace of hope escapes, never turning back, not hesitant and anything but reluctant.

Staring of in a state like insomnia.

**********************************************************************

Kibum wanders into the dorm that he and Donghae shares. He spots his book, Kissed by an Angel lying on the floor. He bents over and picks it up. He flips through the pages envying the love that the characters shared till suddenly a note falls out. Donghae’s note.

A death threat.

Kibum’s eyes widen in disbelief and panic before he storms out of the room, terrorizing the apartment in search of Donghae. Missing him by mere seconds unknowingly

*********************************************************************

The bright blue day slowly dissolved into a dull, gloomy gray.

Gray, bitter, resentful, devoid of happiness.

The winds start howling scratching against the window panes as if to carry Donghae away. Some would consider a bad omen. To him, this was once in a lifetime chance.

Donghae grabs a piece of paper and with quick scrawls saying:

Gone to the beach, won't be back for dinner, don't wait for me.

He walks out of the apartment with one last glance. And he goes away supposedly forever...

*********************************************************************

Kibum finally notices the note left at the entrance of the apartment. The beach. His heart stops.

Like déjà vu, he runs, frantically shouting Donghae. This time, he runs towards the ocean.

*********************************************************************

The salty sea air senses. He breathes deeply, savoring each breath of oxygen. The howling of the savage wind seemed to falter for all it left was a cool whispering of a breeze. A lock of hair strayed to Donghae’s eyes. He continued to gaze beyond through the few strands of hair covering his sight.

He smiled sadly. Watching and hearing the soothing repetitive motion of the waves. Just a while ago, it was as savage as brutal cavemen, crashing beyond the shoreline, but that already halted a while ago.

Donghae released the burden of his slippers, strolling barefoot towards the water. He waded in the seemingly crystallized water, mesmerized by its captivating beauty. He sighs. His feet sinking in the muddy sand, feeling the cool sea water against his clothed skin as a shiver ran up his spine.

He had long bypassed the white frothy foam of the coastline. With a finger, he reached out to touch the water. The water rippled, showing the crystal clear water, innocent, devoid of the devastation of pollution.

“DONGHAE!”

He heard the distant shout. But he was long gone, claiming it as a memory of Kibum’s voice. He continued walking deeper and deeper till he felt a muscular arm snake around his waist, pulling him to shore. He struggled, the desire to die growing stronger and stronger.

Seconds past, they reached shore. Kibum climbed out, dragging Donghae along with him.

Donghae gasped, the aftershock slowly dying away. He gazed over at Kibum. Kibum’s eyes were filled with fiery determination. His protective gaze caused Donghae’s cheeks to color slightly.

“Why did you do that? Why save me again?” Donghae whispered, voice cracking.

Kibum merely shrugged. Refusing to make eye contact.

“Why Kibum. WHY! Do you really want me to suffer that badly. You of all people should know the torment I’m going through. So why stop me? Why?!” Donghae’s voice started to rise with anger.

Kibum continued to glare at the sandy bed.

“Because I love you….”

_________________________________________________________________________________
*Deng Deng Deng* Sorry for the long wait XD. I think this chapter is suckish D=
I do not deny being lazy to write.
I'll try to post chapt.4 soon.
The end's coming really soon.
Well sorry for any grammar mistakes here.
Thanks for reading =)

In a State like Insomnia

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 15:13:47 GMT

Tittle: In a State like Insomnia
Chapter: 1
Pairings: Eunhae, Kihae, Eunmin, mention of Kyumin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Summary: Kibum has always, always loved Donghae. But Donghae loves Eunhyuk. Broken between happiness for his friend and jealousy towards Eunhyuk. But is Eunhyuk really THE ONE for Donghae or really just a playmate? Will Kibum dare to venture into something more intimate and intense than his friendship with Donghae? Will his strength be enough to brace him for rejection?
Disclaimer: ~~Super Junior is mine~~ I wish

Kibum's POV
Don't you ever get the feeling where you're not the only one? Where you're never left alone in the dark awaiting failure? Where you truly knew what joy and happiness was? Well I did once....When I met him.....But my efforts were rejected again, again & again instead we remained the greatest of all friends, yet he still is ignorant of my feelings towards him...Feelings that not only started from first sight, but continues to grow with endless devotion, refusing to stop no matter how hard I tried. As my lips are sealed shut, I watch from the sidelines of his utter love for another, as my life spirals downwards...

I guess that was my mistake.........

_________________________________________________________________________

" Hey baby," said Eunhyuk as he slipped in the seat next to his lover Donghae and wrapped his arm around Hae's waist protectively.

Kibum sitting at the opposite side of Donghae looked away, in a way that could be mistaken as respect towards his friend's privacy with his lover. However, it was because of the pain it caused him , tormenting his suppressed feelings. He tried to smile for the benefit of his friend but it came out as a grimace. However the couple failed to notice and continued their lovey-dovey ' we're the only ones in each others eyes' dreamy gaze. When all of a sudden, Eunhyuk looked at Kibum and smirked for a split second, eyes as cold as ice, as if flaunting over the fact that he has Hae, beckoning and telling Kibum he has no chance whatsoever.

Kibum backs away and rushes out of the door yet Donghae hasn't even noticed that Kibum had gone, enthralled in Eunhyuk's deep brown eyes, lost in a forever sinking depth of wonder. When after what seems like eternity, Eunhyuk lowered his lips on Donghae, cupping Donghae's chin in his hand and raised it up so that they were staring deep into each others eyes. Donghae stood there frozen, as if in a trance. Eunhyuk stared at him questioningly, he expected Donghae to kiss back, but he was surprised when he didn't. Donghae paused, something was wrong, something seemed different, maybe it was just his mind playing tricks on him. He reluctantly started to return Eunhyuk's kiss.

Donghae didn't like the taste of the kiss at all. Kissing Eunhyuk seemed lifeless, there was no more thrill when Eunhyuk kissed him, no fireworks going off, the kiss absolutely and completely lacking passion. Donghae didn't understand, he loved Eunhyuk, why was this kiss so cold, lifeless, like kissing marble. Eventually, Donghae couldn't stand it anymore and gently pushed him away, declining the comforting warmth of Eunhyuk's caress or at least what use to be warm and comforting. He turned, muttered something incoherent and rushed out of the room.

Leaving Eunhyuk staring at the door, where Donghae once was, he sighed and shrugged. Not even pondering over why Donghae left in a hurry, for usually Donghae and he would be at it for hours beyond end. He turns and leaves the room. He walked across the hallway of Suju dorm and stopped at Sungmin's dorm. He rapped on it softly yet sharply. "Coming," came a sweet singsong voice, otherwise known as Sungmin's.

Eunhyuk knew that Sungmin would most likely invite him in, he also knew that Kyuhyun would be held up in traffic till the early hours of morning for he had changed the address route of Kyuhyun's destination, causing him to be lost and only route out would be a heavily trafficed area. He stepped into Sungmin's dorm, the sweet smell of carnations welcoming his arrival. Sungmin stared up at Eunhyuk's face and said ," Hyung? Come in, please come in."

Eunhyuk smiles a secret smile and steps in, closing the door while he was at it. " Sungmin, ah my little Sungmin, how absolutely ravishing you look this evening, were you waiting for me sweet Sungmin?" Eunhyuk cooed huskily, in a voice deeper than his own, advancing upon his prey, each step bringing him closer.

Sungmin's previously welcoming face now covered with absolute fear. He backed away from Eunhyuk till finally his back hit against the wall of his dorm. Eunhyuk took hold of both of Sungmin's arms and pinned them against the wall as he forcefully started to kiss the cowering Sungmin. Sungmin couldn't help but gasp at the intensity of the kiss. That sole action alone gave Eunhyk the opportunity to slide his tongue into Sungmin's warm mouth, exploring the deep cavern and enjoying the exquisite taste that Sungmin's mouth had to offer. Sungmin whimpered in fear, disgusted at the mere harsh breathing of Eunhyuk against his neck.

Sungmin attempted to push Eunhyuk away. But his grips on his arms were strong and it tightened around his slim wrist till it hurt. Sungmin cried out. Sungmin hung helplessly and limply in Eunhyuk's arm, hope of escape all gone. When suddenly Eunhyuk's tight grasp of him ceased to exist. He looked up with shameful eyes to find Kyuhyun standing intimidately over Eunhyuk, hands balled up to fist, threatening to lash out any minute, eyes filled to the brim with anger directed at Eunhyuk. He wondered whether he should beat Eunhyuk up into a bloody pulp like he was replaying in his mind. But instead he strolled over to Sungmin's side and wrapped his arms around Sungmin's waist, claiming his as his own as Sungmin curled up against Kyuhyun , soaking Kyuhyun's shirt in the process of drying his tears. " You, stay away from MY Minnie or you WILL live to regret it!" Kyuhyun shouted in a voice with barely contained anger as he said in a voice so brutal and brusque that it felt like it was a slap across your face with each passing word.

Eunhyuk merely stood up, shrugged and left. Not even a slight twinge of guilt or even a sign of a guilty conscience dawned on his smooth face. Outside, he reminisces of the unique taste of Sungmin, wanting more. He grinned and chuckled silently as he strode back to his own dorm. He didn't notice a shadowy figure lurking in a the darkness, a figure that knew much too much for his own good, a shadowy figure that was shocked beyond belief of what it had just witnessed. Watching as Eunhyuk left with much disgust.

**************************************************************************************************************

He couldn’t even imagine how even Eunhyuk could stoop so low. Even he, as much as he wanted Donghae, he wouldn’t even wish for this to befall on Donghae. Apparently, being was Donghae only resulted because he imagined he should duel with Kibum for Donghae’s feelings. So all those smirk gazes and sly gestures were merely to irritate Kibum and provoke him with a high amount of gesture. To put it shortly, he USED Donghae! And he WOULD pay dearly for that.gesture.]

“ Kibum, what should I do? I can’t bear to break up with him!He’s my entire life! Yet, he cheated on me!” Donghae whispered hoarsely, his voice breaking.

“ You shouldn’t let him control you Hae, he’s only leading you on, loving him would only cause more unneeded pain and misery to you. You should find someone that truly and deeply loves you,” Kibum said gently, ruffling Donghae’s hair affectionately. Like me….Donghae!!!! Look up and see me for something more than just a friend please!!!!!

“ Thanks Kibum…I really appreciate your advice. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you. Thank you, you’re a really great friend, I hope that nothing will ever change it,” Donghae murmured softly, taking firm hold of Kibum’s hand. Wetting his hand with salty tears.

“Just a friend….Nothing will ever change….” Those words rang and echoed in his head repeating like a broken record. He ignored it, he ignored his own agonizing torment and breaking heart to mend and seal Donghae’s broken heart.

Donghae, although broken caught a glimpse of Kibum’s eyes glaze over with sadness for a fraction of a second. “ Kibum? What’s wrong?” Donghae asked softly, his brow furrowed with worry.

“ Nothing, it’s nothing,” he said quickly, mentally beating himself up to let his true feelings seep through his outer shield.

Donghae’s frowned even more, a cute confused look plastered his face, not truly convinced by Kibum’s words. But he merely nodded and decided to believe Kibum, after all he owed him that much after how he’d help him.

Eunhyuk was in his own dorm when he heard a gently yet sharp rapping on the door. “ That must be Donghae finally coming to welcome him home,” muttered Eunhyuk under his breathe, smirking as he thought how jealous Kibum was just moments ago, smirking because he had managed to capture Donghae’s heart and have him falling all over him like a dog to his master, lapping all over his shoes. He really couldn’t see what attraction that was so huge that attracted Kibum to Donghae like glue. He knew that Donghae was cute but Eunhyuk thought that he was an even bigger hot shot than him.

He opened the door and smiled warmly at the petite frame of Donghae, welcoming him in. “ We need to talk Eunhyuk,” Donghae said quietly, eyes downcast.

Eunhyuk looked at Donghae in a queer expression, wondering what was up, waiting silently and patiently for Donghae to continue and to get it over with. “ Eunhyuk, I saw you kiss Sungmin, please tell me what is going on! Please tell me it was all a mistake,” Donghae cried.

Eunhyuk face remained unmoved, expressionless. “ Why can’t I?” Eunhyuk asked.

“ Because… Don’t you care about us Eunhyuk? At all?,” Donghae said softly, not wanting to attract unneeded attention.

“ There was never an us Donghae, it was only you with benefits, are you that blind?” Eunhyuk said, uncaring and stonily.

“ Eunhyuk???!!!! Please say this is a joke. Please!,” Donghae whispered, his voice cracking, tears beginning to brim and blind his eyes.

“ You are such a baby. I can’t take this anymore. I’m dumping you, goodbye and good riddance,” Eunhyuk said coldly.

Donghae stared with saddened eyes, till he turned and ran like a deer being hunted and stalked. Life has lost all meaning.

Donghae cried in a state like insomnia

**********************************************************************************************

The Next Morning:

“ Come on everyone, hurry up, we have a busy schedule ahead of us, except for Donghae and Kibum, they earned themselves a day off this past week,” said Leeteuk, brown eyes shining.

Everyone chorused a groan, silently cursing. Eventually, they packed up and left. Leaving Donghae and Kibum in their dorm.

Kibum said to Donghae, “ Are you okay now?”

“ Yea I’m fine, thanks,” said Donghae. Then he pouted,” Except we don’t have any more food left for Heebum and Yesung’s turtle. Could you get some please?”

Donghae used the full effect of his puppy dog eyes on Kibum. “ Will you be okay by yourself?” Kibum asked.

Donghae nodded happily. Kibum reluctantly got up and said gently, “ I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Donghae smiled “ Kay.”

Kibum grabbed his wallet and went out of the dorm. Donghae waited until he heard another door slam signaling Kibum’s departure before he took out his cell phone and stared typing. He waited a few moments before he sent it.

*blip

The message was sent to it’s recipient.

Donghae smiled wanly, his eyes resumed to how it was yesterday, full of hurt.

*************************************************************************************************

Nol choum bon sungan a miracle (a miracle)
I love you baby and I'm never gonna stop

Kibum's phone rang, miracle ringing out. He paused to check the sms.

Dear Kibum,

I’m sorry for tricking you like that. Please find a space in your heart to forgive me after this. I will always remember you, always. Please always remember me too. I’ll miss you Kibum. Goodbye for the last time…

Love,
Donghae

"What does he mean goodbye for the last time? Wait, no, he wouldn’t,” Kibum wondered out lot.

He raced through the busy streets of Seoul, disobeying many traffic rules along the way. He didn’t care, he just needed Donghae to be okay. If anything happened to him….If anything, he’ll go that way too, he’ll follow Donghae to the ends of the earth if he had do.

"Donghae......" Kibum shouted, many people turned to stare at him as if he was a lunatic, a maniac, crazy. Yet he couldn't care less. In fact no one on earth could care less than Kibum.

Overhead, dark ominous clouds gathered, clustering together.

“ Goodbye world,” Donghae whispered in the dorm.

He took out a knife, it glinted, shining brightly, reflecting every single shade of light. It seemed as if it was glowing, light shimmering, gleaming around it. He gazed adoringly around at the dorm. It would be the last thing he would see. Tears spilled over his eyelids, blurring his sights. Since yesterday, his future had looked bleak….Too bleak. He couldn’t stand it anymore.

This is the right choice, this is what I want, this is what will be, this is the way to go…

He closed his eyes, flashes of happy memories not tainted by even the slightest thought of worry or spite.

This is what can’t be changed…

He lifted the knife, admiring its skilled craftwork. Watching the light stenciling through the window bounce of the glinting handicraft, glittering. His eyes closed for supposedly the last time.

This is my route to hope…

“ Donghae!!!!” Kibum shouted, catching sight of the knife in Donghae’s hand. Donghae appeared not to hear. Unmoving, is he even breathing?

This is meant to be…

A faint pulse fluttered, ready to die, maybe it did.

This is I…

Maybe he was too late…

This is death...

Or maybe he wasn’t…

That night Kibum cried in a state like insomnia...

********************************************************************************************
Note:
I'm sorry if there's any spelling or grammar errors in this fic.
Livejournal cut is bullying me...
Gosh I'm easy to bully XD
Anyway hope you enjoyed it...

Kwiz.Biz Kwiz!

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 12:30:21 GMT

Red Thread

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 16:57:00 GMT

Title~ Red thread
Dedication~cosmic_celestia , mainly because this is an inspiration of her creation, ---> When Life Repays You

Red thread
I remember the rose blood red
The one you gave
The one I saved

Red thread
The one that tied us both together
The one that will always last forever
Our love that overcomes stormy weather

Red thread
I can't risk losing you again
For it causes great pain
When you're not here, heavily, it rains

Red thread
A second without you seems like years
With you I can manage to face my fears
Without you I'll shed many sorrowful tears

Red thread,
I give you my heart
Even after death we won't part
I love you always, forever in my heart

Red thread
I believe you are my soul mate
We've met because of destiny and fate
To you I can always relate

Red thread
Giving my proposal kneeling on one knee
So joyous I felt when you agreed
I smiled in great glee

Red thread
As I walked you down the aisle
With you dressed up in white
Warmth filled me when you gave your special gentle smile

Red thread
You're my very own living miracle
With an attitude sweeter than a popsicle
My own personal romance chronicle

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:55:03 GMT

Tagged by jaeryun

a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. Where did your LJ handle come from?
Kibum =D

2. How do you style your hair?
I don't XD

3. What is making you happy right now?
My friends.

4. What are you currently reading?
Kissed by an angel

5. Do you need music to study/write?
I can with or without. But I like to anywayz =)

6. What is your current addiction?
Hip hop, books and computer

7. What was your first car?
I'm underage. Don't have one

8. Do you have a crush at the moment?
My secret ^^

9. What is your favorite movie(that doesn't include your idol)?
Journey to the center of the Earth

10. What was the last thing that you ate today?
Chinese food

11. What is your favorite color?
Green & Blue

12. What websites do you visit daily?
Wikipedia, friendster & livejournal

13. What's your favorite food?
JAPANESE & Italian food ^^

14. Which language did you wish you speak?
Chinese, Korean, French & Spanish

15. What's your favorite book at the moment?
Kissed by an angel

16. Do you have any birthmarks?
Sure do

17. Who was your childhood idol?
Didn't have one

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
Korea? Japan?

19. What do you do to fall asleep?
Imagining things help =)

20. Tell me something you love about the person who tagged you.
She's strong-willed, speaks her mind and tell it as it is 8)

B. Tagging people....
naomitakashi , sallysync ,merashun , saranghaexosj , perfectfiresky , cosmic_celestia , happilyinsane13 , kimchaeyeon

Kwiz.Biz Kwiz!

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:06:02 GMT

YAY!!!

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:00:44 GMT

Which super junior member are you?

Kim Ki Bum
You are awesome!He is nice and caring and is great to hang out with.

How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic</font>

</div>

Kyumin. The curse of the immortals, Chapter 1

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 09:37:45 GMT

TITTLE-Modernized Romeo & Juliet ~~(ONE SHOT)~~
PAIRING- Kyumin, slight Kangteuk, Ye Wook
RATINGS-PG13
SUMMARY-Kyumin, Romeo & Juliet, supernatural style. A pair, whose family, religion of who they are, what they should be-Immortal
                     Enemies, fall for each other. But fate intends to keep these two apart. Everyone disagrees with their intends to tie their                    souls together for all eternity by marriage. Two immortal worlds collide, with means of war. In their never-ending                      obstacle-filed chaos. Tragedy will prevail. The curse of the two immortals......
DISCLAIMER-All rights go to William Shakespeare & Super Junior. And I do not own Super Junior.
REASON FOR THE STORY-1. I'm taking a break from my other story
                                                   2. I'm a fan of Shakespeare & Super Junior, so I wondered how it would be like if I twisted it                                                        together

Staring out of the balcony,beyond the mountains, Sung Min sighs. This valley would have been truly peaceful if only the tyranny between wizards & vampires would end. "Sung Min dear child, I've found a delightful pleasant witch for you to take as your bride," Kangin voiced as he strolled out to the balcony towards Sung Min.

I should have known father would intend to choose a bride for me so soon. "Father, I do not wish to marry a witch that you've chose. Please understand that I would prefer to wait for true love to occur. Father, I'm sorry, but I do not intend to be forced upon a marriage,"Sung Min said. He hadn't been his usual self for a while. Bubbly, all smiles. Ever since his father started to choose witches for him. Hoping he'll take one as his long-wedded wife.

"INSOLENT CHILD! What will I ever do with a son that won't marry?"Kangin retorted, then stormed of in a tantrum.

Sung Min watched this in silence, knowing that sooner or later, his father will choose some other witch for him. His father is throwing a grand ball in hope that there and then he'll take a dainty witch as his soul mate. Sighing heavily. He looks up in the sky where many stars sparkle bright. A shooting star slashed across the night sky. He clamped his eyes shut and wishfully thinking his wish. Please may I find true love soon. I want to be with someone that I love, whether it's a he or she. Someone who'll love me for who I am. And who I'll always be.

<<<<~~~_*_~~~>>>>\<<<<|'^v^v^'|>>>>/<<<<{[(d:--&--:b)]}>>>>

Staring at the stary night sky, a shooting star shoots across the dark night in a flaming torrent of light. Kyu Hyun closed his eyes, wishing as hard as he could. I beg you! Please may Sung Min the heir of the wizards, accept the love of a vampire. Please may he want me as I want him. Please against all odds, we may be together forever with no troubles or worries. He opened his eyes. The shooting star was already gone, fleeting away. Hopefully finding a way to fulfill his heart wishes. Cho Kyu Hyun! What am I doing. There is entirely no hope for a warlock to love a vampire. No matter how long both of us shall live. The only way we could be together, if he accepts my love, is we'll have to discover the gift to become a mortal. Bitter thoughts. He sighed

His best friends, Ye Sung & Ryeo Wook gazed at him sympathetically. "Kyu Hyun. Don't give up yet, look at how it turned out for us," Ryeo Wook said to comfort him.

"But are you immortal enemies? Do one of you didn't know the other exist. No! The answer is no!" Kyu Hyun practically shouted. The other two glanced at each other.

"The wizards are throwing a grand ball for their other heir. He has stopped growing. He gained immortality. He will take over his people after he finds a bride. So, let us say, we go to that ball tonight and I won't take no for an answer," Ye Sung said firmly.

The other two didn't know the seriousness of this situation. If they were caught, they could be sentence to an agonizing death. This will never work out no matter how hard they tried. A crystallized tear ran down his cheek. It's decided. He will go with Ye Sung & Ryeo Wook to the ball.

"The decision is made. I will go with you Ye Sung no matter how stupid & dumb your request sounds," Kyu Hyun said

"Yes! No matter how stupid & dumb the request I....HEY!!!! My request is not stupid & dumb!" Ye Sung exclaimed. He flicked Kyu Hyun on the shoulder. And turned to the side. Lifted up his chin and stuck his nose in the air.

Ryeo Wook & Kyu Hyun laughed on the floor. So doubled-over with laughter that their breathing came out in loud gasps.

<<<<~~~_*_~~~>>>>\<<<<|'^v^v^'|>>>>/<<<<{[(d:--&--:b)]}>>>>

"VAMPIRES!"

"Quick! Capture them before they escape!"

"Burn them! Chop of their heads! Feed them to the sharks!"

The torrent of noises cut of his thinking. Going to the doors to deal with the situation on his hand. When I rule this country, I will ally vampires with us. Peace will finally be brought back to this valley. I WILL NOT LET MY PEOPLE HARM THEM!! NOT ON MY WATCH!

"GUARD!! Who gave you permission to chase away our guest?" Sung Min said icily.

The guard started shaking."With all due respect your highness, they are vampires," the guard stammered.

Sung Min glanced at the vampires. And found his eyes glued to a certain one. Could that be Kyu Hyun? The heir of the vampires? He started to grow nervous. His heart beating faster than it should. A pink blush rose up his cheeks. The guy I've loved from afar is actually here? I WILL NOT LET THEM HARM HIM AND HIS FRIENDS!!! I WILL NOT!!!! "GUARD!!! Leave them be!" he demanded

"Yes highness!" he stammered bowing his head slightly.

"Thank you. You have our deepest gratitude," Kyu Hyun said, inclining his head.

"There's no need for formalities. You could express your gratitude towards me in joining me to a dance, "Sung Min said. Blushing a furious pink.

"I would be honored! "Kyu Hyun said. Bowing from his waist up before taking Sung Min's hand and lifting it to his lips. Stop blushing you idiot! He doesn't feel the same! He won't ever will! Just as well, my father will never agree to it. What does it matter!? "Everything!"said a voice in Sung Min's head

<<<<~~~_*_~~~>>>>\<<<<|'^v^v^'|>>>>/<<<<{[(d:--&--:b)]}>>>>

Could it be real? Did Sung Min actually ask me to dance. Lifting Sung Min's hand to his lips. Letting his lips brush Sung Min's hand. Watching him flush a bright pink brought joy to him.

As they settled into a waltz as the music started into slow song. They waltzed their way into the crowd. Never seeing the surprise look upon the crowd. Never hearing the sound of breaking glass crash down onto the floor. When suddenly, Kyu Hyun stepped on a piece of the broken glass. Not feeling it at first. But as his feet came down. The glass went deeper into the wound. He yelped. His blood flowed out of the wound.

"KYU HYUN!" he heard Sung Min shout, as he dazed of by the sight of his own blood.

He woke up in a plush pink bed with fluffy pink blankets. Darker pink bedsheets. And two furry bunnies. One light pink, the other a shade of hot pink. Gosh! This guy loves pink and bunnies. He's like a girl! Yet, strangely enough my heart still beats for him. Now more than ever. I find it weirdly adorable. A portrait of Sung Min hung on the wall. He was holding one of his bunnies and smiling like Kyu Hyun never seen him before. He looks so bubbly, so happy, so content!

"So, sleeping beauty is finally awake," came a teasing voice.

"HEE CUL GET OUT!!!" Sung Min screamed, pushed him out and slammed the door. "Sorry you had to see that! "Sung Min said apologetically.

"It's ok, "Kyu Hyun murmured softly. He up-righted himself and walked out to the balcony. Sung Min followed him like a little puppy.

"Kyu Hyun could I ask you something?" Sung Min asked.

"Anything Sung Min. Anything. "Kyu Hyun answered lost in the depths of Sung Min eyes.

"You're a vampire. But you faint at the sight of your own blood,"Sung Min questioned.

"Not all vampires drink blood. They can eat food and actually find it good. But the blood is awfully tempting. I don't want to drink my own blood do I, "Kyu Hyun said chuckling, raising his eyebrow. He raised his hand to sweep away Sung Min's hair from his eyes.

Sung Min expression changed of that of desire.

<<<<~~~_*_~~~>>>>\<<<<|'^v^v^'|>>>>/<<<<{[(d:--&--:b)]}>>>>

Could he really love me as I love him? He picked a sweet pea from a tree that rose just above his balcony. Plucking the petals one by one. He loves me... He loves me not... He loves me... He loves me not....He- He loves me! Could it be true? Another shooting star flashes across the sky. I want Kyu Hyun & I to be together for as long as we both shall live! Miraculously. The shooting star burst into many million particles! Could this mean? We are never meant to be together?

Tears brim his eyelids, slowly streaming down in gushes like a river. Falling slowly in depression. His emotions enveloping around him. Sadness embracing him....

To Be Continued~

Happily Ever After

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 10:22:30 GMT

A song I wrote for Chapter 5 of Concert Miracle.

I was never truly cheerful
For the future I was fearful
I was never truly content
Never realized what my life meant

Verse 1~
The first time that I met you
Feelings that were brand new
I couldn't understand
Like I command, demand
I wanted you so much
The sense to feel your touch

Pre-Chorus~
Your very smile warms me
Smiling when you say we
Unable to resist
I lean forward for a kiss
A bittersweet moment
That rejection will torment
Yet the kiss fills me with joy

Chorus~
Could it be?
You're the key to my happily ever after
Could it be?
You're the source for my happily ever after
I wanna ask do you feel the same way?
Every time you see me do you swoon and sway

Verse 2~
Can't tear my gaze away
I want you more everyday
I want to hold you tight
Your my light in the night
You're my true love it seems
You're the girl of my dreams

Pre-Chorus~
You very gaze warms me
Beaming when I say we
Unable to resist
I lean forward for a kiss
Realizing I love you
In a way, pure & true
On impulse, I want you

[Chorus]

Brown eyes, raven hair shining in the sun
In my heart you're the one and only one
Your despairing look drowns my very soul

To make you happy was my very goal

Pre-Chorus~
Your happy look warms me
Laughing when we say we
Unable to resist
I lean forward for a kiss
When you're not here, I feel blue
I like you, I love you
Happily ever after

Chorus~
Truly is
You're the key to my happily ever after
Truly is
You're the source to my happily ever
You admit to me, you feel the same way
You confess, when you see me you swoon & sway

Happily ever after
Forever we'll be together
Happily ever after

A Happy New Year Wish

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 09:15:27 GMT

I wish upon a star
Hoping your dreams will go so far
Another year
To cope your fear
Another day
To say hooray
2009 is here
2008 there
Forever we'll cherish
The old year's, the new year's wish
Memories that will be with us forever
That'll bring us back together
This year I wish you all the best
Energy overflowing without needing so much rest
A Happy New Year to all
Wishing you happiness, health & all

I hope you like the wish I made for you, you & you
Warmest regards

Your Super Junior Lover
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your Super Junior is...	Kangin
He loves you for...	your hands
You will have...	1 kids
You will cheat on him with...	Kibum

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Super Junior + You
Name
Birthday (mm/dd)
Favourite Food
Favourite Colour
Username
Best Friend
Frienemy
Hater
Crush
Affair
Lover

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