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Tittle: In a State like Insomnia
Chapter: 3
Pairings: Kihae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kibum has always, always loved Donghae. But Donghae loves Eunhyuk. Broken between happiness for his friend and jealousy towards Eunhyuk. But is Eunhyuk really THE ONE for Donghae or really just a playmate? Will Kibum dare to venture into something more intimate and intense than his friendship with Donghae? Will his strength be enough to brace him for rejection?
Disclaimer:Super Junior is mine I wish
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Chapter: 3
Pairings: Kihae
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Kibum has always, always loved Donghae. But Donghae loves Eunhyuk. Broken between happiness for his friend and jealousy towards Eunhyuk. But is Eunhyuk really THE ONE for Donghae or really just a playmate? Will Kibum dare to venture into something more intimate and intense than his friendship with Donghae? Will his strength be enough to brace him for rejection?
Disclaimer:
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Donghae's eyes brimmed with overflowing tears, wetting his eyelashes, blurring his eyesight, the room's colors all mashed together forming one huge colorful blob. He lifted his poem to his lips, wetting it slightly during the process. He held it to his heart listening to the constant drumming. He sighed sadly and folded it in half. Pressing it between the pages of a book he lent from Kibum " Kissed by an Angel".
He looks up at the night sky. Gazing at the beautiful moon and the sparkling stars that fills the whole stretch of the horizon. He still couldn’t accept the fact that Eunhyuk had cheated on him. His thoughts fills his mind in an endless effortless whirl.
Why did he do that to me? How could he do that to me? Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Maybe I should try again. The only reason for living is Kibum and I’m sure he won’t miss me much even when I’m gone…Why did he have to come in when death was already knocking on the door?! I tried to reach for it but someone pulled me back.
These thoughts continues streaming till he reaches the most unpleasant part of all.
I should try to take my life again. This time leave no note of goodbyes. Well not the instant kind at least. I’m sure Kibum will find the poem after I’m gone. I guess that’s goodbye enough. Well I guess Super Junior is 13 no more. My final farewell.
He reaches for a new crisp sheet of paper, a black gel pen, and quickly wrote with quick scrawls on it. He smiles a pained smile, his eyes gone black with despair and waits for the opportunity to finally finish of his life.
****************************************
Eunhyuk seemed a fragile mannequin at the moment. His mind constantly flooded with bittersweet memories. As hard as it is to believe, he loved Donghae at one point of the five years they were together. And now he remembers how much he loves Donghae, but he realized it too late for now his fair Donghae could hardly bear to greet his eyes. His usual joyful eyes streaming with tears, blackened with shadows and downcast.
*Flashback* (Eunhyuk's POV)
“Why do you keep running away from me?” I questioned, even without a mirror I knew my face was contorted to that of hurt. It pained me that our distance was growing larger each passing minute.
“B….Because….I-I..L-love you….,” Donghae whispered softly, eyes strained on wall behind Eunhyuk. A bright crimson rushed up his cheeks.
I smiled. Ecstatic at what I heard. I wrapped my arm around his slim waist as his eyes widened in surprised.
“Good! Because I love you too,” I answered and lifted his chin, planting a kiss on his red lips, therefore sealing the relationship.
* End of Flashback*
I loved him… But what happened to change that? What changed it? Why did I seem to stop loving him at one point? Oh yea…..Because of him….
*Flashback* (Eunhyuk’s POV)
It has been just a year ago. For four years, my relationship with Donghae was thought to be unbreakable and rock solid. Then I met him…. Taewoo (just a random name I made), with his scorching gold eyes and glossy brown hair. It was love at first sight, for me anyway.
But yet even though I got close to Taewoo he only loved another. I guess it was sort of like a quadruple way of love? (Read on to find out)
“ Taewoo?” I murmured softly, mesmerized by his golden eyes.
“Hmmm?”
“Have you….ever loved anyone other than the usual….I mean like not….maybe like guys?”
“Only ever one,” he whispered, his gaze seemed to soften the merest fraction.
“Who?” I asked, heart racing like mad.
“Kim….Kim Kibum,” he muttered, his expression seemed to falter.
“Oh…”
Just a simple oh. My mind couldn’t seem to form any other words. My heart seemed to drop, breaking into many million pieces where most of it won’t be retrieved.
Then I thought back to how Kibum’s gaze held the exact same interest to Donghae as I hold to Taewoo. I can’t get back at Kibum directly without hurting Taewoo so I figured that I could get back at Kibum indirectly by flaunting the fact that he has Donghae in front of Kibum.
Revenge for stealing his beloved Taewoo, Donghae was nothing compared to him. Kim Kibum SHALL feel this pain and torment!
*End of Flashback*
I’m sorry Donghae! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!
Eunhyuk’s tears began to fall, streaming forcefully. His knees buckle and he seemed to be all alone in the bitter cold darkness, allowing depression to curl around his entire existence and the tiny trace of hope escapes, never turning back, not hesitant and anything but reluctant.
Staring of in a state like insomnia.
****************************************
Kibum wanders into the dorm that he and Donghae shares. He spots his book, Kissed by an Angel lying on the floor. He bents over and picks it up. He flips through the pages envying the love that the characters shared till suddenly a note falls out. Donghae’s note.
A death threat.
Kibum’s eyes widen in disbelief and panic before he storms out of the room, terrorizing the apartment in search of Donghae. Missing him by mere seconds unknowingly
****************************************
The bright blue day slowly dissolved into a dull, gloomy gray.
Gray, bitter, resentful, devoid of happiness.
The winds start howling scratching against the window panes as if to carry Donghae away. Some would consider a bad omen. To him, this was once in a lifetime chance.
Donghae grabs a piece of paper and with quick scrawls saying:
Gone to the beach, won't be back for dinner, don't wait for me.
He walks out of the apartment with one last glance. And he goes away supposedly forever...
****************************************
Kibum finally notices the note left at the entrance of the apartment. The beach. His heart stops.
Like déjà vu, he runs, frantically shouting Donghae. This time, he runs towards the ocean.
****************************************
The salty sea air senses. He breathes deeply, savoring each breath of oxygen. The howling of the savage wind seemed to falter for all it left was a cool whispering of a breeze. A lock of hair strayed to Donghae’s eyes. He continued to gaze beyond through the few strands of hair covering his sight.
He smiled sadly. Watching and hearing the soothing repetitive motion of the waves. Just a while ago, it was as savage as brutal cavemen, crashing beyond the shoreline, but that already halted a while ago.
Donghae released the burden of his slippers, strolling barefoot towards the water. He waded in the seemingly crystallized water, mesmerized by its captivating beauty. He sighs. His feet sinking in the muddy sand, feeling the cool sea water against his clothed skin as a shiver ran up his spine.
He had long bypassed the white frothy foam of the coastline. With a finger, he reached out to touch the water. The water rippled, showing the crystal clear water, innocent, devoid of the devastation of pollution.
“DONGHAE!”
He heard the distant shout. But he was long gone, claiming it as a memory of Kibum’s voice. He continued walking deeper and deeper till he felt a muscular arm snake around his waist, pulling him to shore. He struggled, the desire to die growing stronger and stronger.
Seconds past, they reached shore. Kibum climbed out, dragging Donghae along with him.
Donghae gasped, the aftershock slowly dying away. He gazed over at Kibum. Kibum’s eyes were filled with fiery determination. His protective gaze caused Donghae’s cheeks to color slightly.
“Why did you do that? Why save me again?” Donghae whispered, voice cracking.
Kibum merely shrugged. Refusing to make eye contact.
“Why Kibum. WHY! Do you really want me to suffer that badly. You of all people should know the torment I’m going through. So why stop me? Why?!” Donghae’s voice started to rise with anger.
Kibum continued to glare at the sandy bed.
“Because I love you….”
________________________________________
*Deng Deng Deng* Sorry for the long wait XD. I think this chapter is suckish D=
I do not deny being lazy to write.
I'll try to post chapt.4 soon.
The end's coming really soon.
Well sorry for any grammar mistakes here.
Thanks for reading =)
He looks up at the night sky. Gazing at the beautiful moon and the sparkling stars that fills the whole stretch of the horizon. He still couldn’t accept the fact that Eunhyuk had cheated on him. His thoughts fills his mind in an endless effortless whirl.
Why did he do that to me? How could he do that to me? Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Maybe I should try again. The only reason for living is Kibum and I’m sure he won’t miss me much even when I’m gone…Why did he have to come in when death was already knocking on the door?! I tried to reach for it but someone pulled me back.
These thoughts continues streaming till he reaches the most unpleasant part of all.
I should try to take my life again. This time leave no note of goodbyes. Well not the instant kind at least. I’m sure Kibum will find the poem after I’m gone. I guess that’s goodbye enough. Well I guess Super Junior is 13 no more. My final farewell.
****************************************
Eunhyuk seemed a fragile mannequin at the moment. His mind constantly flooded with bittersweet memories. As hard as it is to believe, he loved Donghae at one point of the five years they were together. And now he remembers how much he loves Donghae, but he realized it too late for now his fair Donghae could hardly bear to greet his eyes. His usual joyful eyes streaming with tears, blackened with shadows and downcast.
*Flashback* (Eunhyuk's POV)
“Why do you keep running away from me?” I questioned, even without a mirror I knew my face was contorted to that of hurt. It pained me that our distance was growing larger each passing minute.
“B….Because….I-I..L-love you….,” Donghae whispered softly, eyes strained on wall behind Eunhyuk. A bright crimson rushed up his cheeks.
I smiled. Ecstatic at what I heard. I wrapped my arm around his slim waist as his eyes widened in surprised.
“Good! Because I love you too,” I answered and lifted his chin, planting a kiss on his red lips, therefore sealing the relationship.
* End of Flashback*
I loved him… But what happened to change that? What changed it? Why did I seem to stop loving him at one point? Oh yea…..Because of him….
*Flashback* (Eunhyuk’s POV)
It has been just a year ago. For four years, my relationship with Donghae was thought to be unbreakable and rock solid. Then I met him…. Taewoo (just a random name I made), with his scorching gold eyes and glossy brown hair. It was love at first sight, for me anyway.
But yet even though I got close to Taewoo he only loved another. I guess it was sort of like a quadruple way of love? (Read on to find out)
“ Taewoo?” I murmured softly, mesmerized by his golden eyes.
“Hmmm?”
“Have you….ever loved anyone other than the usual….I mean like not….maybe like guys?”
“Only ever one,” he whispered, his gaze seemed to soften the merest fraction.
“Who?” I asked, heart racing like mad.
“Kim….Kim Kibum,” he muttered, his expression seemed to falter.
“Oh…”
Just a simple oh. My mind couldn’t seem to form any other words. My heart seemed to drop, breaking into many million pieces where most of it won’t be retrieved.
Then I thought back to how Kibum’s gaze held the exact same interest to Donghae as I hold to Taewoo. I can’t get back at Kibum directly without hurting Taewoo so I figured that I could get back at Kibum indirectly by flaunting the fact that he has Donghae in front of Kibum.
Revenge for stealing his beloved Taewoo, Donghae was nothing compared to him. Kim Kibum SHALL feel this pain and torment!
*End of Flashback*
I’m sorry Donghae! I’m sorry! Please forgive me!
Eunhyuk’s tears began to fall, streaming forcefully. His knees buckle and he seemed to be all alone in the bitter cold darkness, allowing depression to curl around his entire existence and the tiny trace of hope escapes, never turning back, not hesitant and anything but reluctant.
Staring of in a state like insomnia.
****************************************
Kibum wanders into the dorm that he and Donghae shares. He spots his book, Kissed by an Angel lying on the floor. He bents over and picks it up. He flips through the pages envying the love that the characters shared till suddenly a note falls out. Donghae’s note.
A death threat.
Kibum’s eyes widen in disbelief and panic before he storms out of the room, terrorizing the apartment in search of Donghae. Missing him by mere seconds unknowingly
****************************************
The bright blue day slowly dissolved into a dull, gloomy gray.
Gray, bitter, resentful, devoid of happiness.
The winds start howling scratching against the window panes as if to carry Donghae away. Some would consider a bad omen. To him, this was once in a lifetime chance.
Donghae grabs a piece of paper and with quick scrawls saying:
Gone to the beach, won't be back for dinner, don't wait for me.
He walks out of the apartment with one last glance. And he goes away supposedly forever...
****************************************
Kibum finally notices the note left at the entrance of the apartment. The beach. His heart stops.
Like déjà vu, he runs, frantically shouting Donghae. This time, he runs towards the ocean.
****************************************
The salty sea air senses. He breathes deeply, savoring each breath of oxygen. The howling of the savage wind seemed to falter for all it left was a cool whispering of a breeze. A lock of hair strayed to Donghae’s eyes. He continued to gaze beyond through the few strands of hair covering his sight.
He smiled sadly. Watching and hearing the soothing repetitive motion of the waves. Just a while ago, it was as savage as brutal cavemen, crashing beyond the shoreline, but that already halted a while ago.
Donghae released the burden of his slippers, strolling barefoot towards the water. He waded in the seemingly crystallized water, mesmerized by its captivating beauty. He sighs. His feet sinking in the muddy sand, feeling the cool sea water against his clothed skin as a shiver ran up his spine.
He had long bypassed the white frothy foam of the coastline. With a finger, he reached out to touch the water. The water rippled, showing the crystal clear water, innocent, devoid of the devastation of pollution.
“DONGHAE!”
He heard the distant shout. But he was long gone, claiming it as a memory of Kibum’s voice. He continued walking deeper and deeper till he felt a muscular arm snake around his waist, pulling him to shore. He struggled, the desire to die growing stronger and stronger.
Seconds past, they reached shore. Kibum climbed out, dragging Donghae along with him.
Donghae gasped, the aftershock slowly dying away. He gazed over at Kibum. Kibum’s eyes were filled with fiery determination. His protective gaze caused Donghae’s cheeks to color slightly.
“Why did you do that? Why save me again?” Donghae whispered, voice cracking.
Kibum merely shrugged. Refusing to make eye contact.
“Why Kibum. WHY! Do you really want me to suffer that badly. You of all people should know the torment I’m going through. So why stop me? Why?!” Donghae’s voice started to rise with anger.
Kibum continued to glare at the sandy bed.
“Because I love you….”
________________________________________
*Deng Deng Deng* Sorry for the long wait XD. I think this chapter is suckish D=
I do not deny being lazy to write.
I'll try to post chapt.4 soon.
The end's coming really soon.
Well sorry for any grammar mistakes here.
Thanks for reading =)
pessimistic
get a life man! hyuk's not worth it!!!
suck up and be a man!!
*LMAO*
sorry im just so affected by this fic!!! i can quite relate with Kibum's plight...it sucks to like someone who just can't get over with someone who seriously seriously SUCK!
pls update soon!! XDDDDD
yup I can relate to it too XD
thx for reading and commenting
I'll try to update soon
Thanks for reading and commenting